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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29973192">All that Glitters is Goldard</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hawkscape/pseuds/Hawkscape'>Hawkscape</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Secretary and the Supervillain [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Darkwing Duck (Cartoon 1991), DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety, Banter, Cartoon Physics, Crushes, Embarrassment, M/M, Nerdiness, Superheroes, Villains</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 03:28:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,362</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29973192</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hawkscape/pseuds/Hawkscape</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when two office workers that work for Scrooge McDuck get caught in a hold up by Negaduck? Especially when one of them has a crush on one semi related superhero? Will being a huge superhero nerd save the day somehow?</p><p>[Involves my OC Goldard Greendar, anxiety ridden secretary duck, and andypng's OC Cogwheel, used-to-all-this-wildness secretary duck]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Negaduck (Disney)/Original Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Secretary and the Supervillain [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2207742</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>All that Glitters is Goldard</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was no secret that Goldard Greendar had a crush on Darkwing Duck. I mean, who wouldn't? He was daring and dramatic and heroic and so mysterious. He was also entirely fictional, meaning that it was easy to keep his fantasizing and daydreaming strictly to that, swooning over an old TV show whose actor had fallen off the map years ago. Then somebody decided to take up the mantle for real and things got more complicated. He knew the real hero wasn't the same person, literally couldn't be, but he still felt himself staring at every news report he could and doodling dark silhouettes in the margins of his spreadsheets. He knew what he was doing was stupid and maybe slightly creepy, but everyone had celebreity crushes, right? It was no different. Not like he would ever meet him.</p><p>“Gold. Goldard. Green. Greendard. Goldar.” Honestly Cogwheel could do this all day, but did he want to? No. Time for drastic measures. He grabbed the notebook the man was doodling in. “Ooh, what's this? ‘DW + GG 4 Ever’? Huh, nice silhouette work.”</p><p>Goldard fluffed up severely and whipped around trying to grab it back. “Give that back this instant!” He hissed.</p><p>Honestly, Cogs wouldn't tease him so much if he didn’t make it so easy. “Oh, is this a picture of you and him holding hands? Aww. That's adorable.”</p><p>He turned around and held the pad out of Goldard’s reach as the man squawked even more high pitched. “Crossfeather, give that back this instant or so help me I’ll-”</p><p>Cog snorted. “What? Throw another stapler? You’re running out G. Honestly if-”</p><p>They both heard a throat clearing noise behind them and tensed. Don't be Scrooge, don't be Scrooge, don't be Scrooge.</p><p>They both slowly turned and, to be fair, it wasn’t Scrooge.</p><p>It was Negaduck, looking a little bit annoyed.</p><p>Cogwheel huffed slightly because he didn't want to be late for dinner and was used to the McDuck family nonsense. Gold made a small ‘eep’ sound because he wasn't.</p><p>“Should I come back?” He looked like a particularly peeved parent. “I've been standing here for a good minute. Did a grand entrance and everything. Did neither of you hear the revving chainsaw? Really?”</p><p>Both of the office workers looked at each other. “Could you come back later, we’re really busy?” Cog asked in this most customer service voice he could.</p><p>Negaduck blinked his crazy eyes and shifted. “Oh well, if you’re busy I can just-” He turned to leave before whipping back around, cape flying. “Wait, no!” He shook his head. “I’m here to rob things!” He stomped forward and Gold flinched back while Cogs just looked put upon. “And neither of you better try anything.”</p><p>He looked down at the notepad just moving his head and not his neck. “What is this? Some kind of secret ledger I can use for blackmail?” Before either could react he swiped it out of Cog’s hand and started looking at it. “I knew Scrooge wasn't entirely on...the...level?” He just looked confused for a moment before looking at both of them like he'd been slapped. You could almost see the small hamster on a wheel turning above his head.</p><p>Goldard tried to calm his breathing. It was fine. Not like this had been a nightmare of his for a while. Refame. Look at the positive. Maybe Darkwing would come save him. Even if he didn’t the guy wouldn't know it was his notepad.</p><p>“‘GG’? This yours?” Aaaand he was wearing a name tag.</p><p>He tried to sputter out an answer. “What? No, I just ...found it ...noooo…”</p><p>The villain came closer and got way too into his personal space. Smelled...dusty. Like something that had been in a closet for a while. The man squinted at him and at the name tag before looking back at him. Goldard wanted to hide and run at the same time which seemed difficult, but not impossible. “So...you like Darkwing, huh?”</p><p>Goldard was going to keep his stupid mouth shut for once in his life, but then saw Cog out of the corner of his eyes sneaking towards the silent alarm button and in the long suffering langue of silent eye pleads only office workers know, he was told too ‘keep him talking, asshole’.</p><p>He cleared his throat and tried to pretend he was giving a speech in front of a boardroom and not a supervillain. That didn't really help. Imagine him in his underwear. No! Bad! Even worse!</p><p>“Yoo hoo! Hello? Goldie?” The man snapped his fingers in front of his face. “Wow, you just...check out, don't cha? Talk about a rich fantasy life, and that's coming from me.” He was about to turn and ask the other pencil pusher if he was always like this before Goldard shook his head and got his attention back.</p><p>“No- no, I mean. Sure, Darkwing’s cool-” Wrong, wrong, wrong. “B-but I was more a fan of the show, y'know? I’m not sure about the real life guy. Seems like a really overzealous fanboy to me.” Keep talking, keep talking, ramble like you've never rambled in your life. The villain actually seems to be listening, which was more than some people he’d talked to. “I mean, what are the chances he's actually properly trained in this stuff? He's gonna get someone killed.”</p><p>The villain stared at him with wide eyes before blinking. Oh, maybe shouldn't have mentioned the ‘kill’ word.</p><p>“You...liked the show?”</p><p>Weird thing to latch on to. Gold wondered if it was a trick question. “W-well, yeah?” Quick, find something to like about Darkwing Duck that isn't Darkwing Duck. “The theme song was really catchy a-and the acting was like, great. Some of the stunts, wow. Like that one episode where all the villains were invisible so he was just miming fighting himself? Amazing.” Woops, too enthusiastic, tone it down. The guy looked awestruck. Wow, you even managed to weird out a supervillain with your rambling. Write that down in your diary.</p><p>The villain shook his head and grinned really sharp. “We~ll if you like Darkwing, you must like me, right? I mean, I'm just like him but better, how could you not?” Goldard’s eyes flashed between the maniacs' round ones and Cog who was pushing the button vigorously. God, come on, what did you pay cops for?</p><p>He tried to buy time and looked the villain up and down. It was pretty obvious who he was supposed to be. “Uh...well...you’re supposed to be Negaduck, right?”</p><p>The man beamed and tipped his hat. “Ah ha, yes! I knew people would get it. It’s not about being hexadecimal perfect on the color, it's about readability. Take that Susan from wardrobe.” He pointed at no one triumphantly, breathing hard. Goldard had the feeling he had stepped into something he wasn't really a part of. Cog tried to keep his brain from leaking out his ears at the stupid.</p><p>Nega cleared his throat and tried to go back to being smooth, leaning on his turned off chainsaw gouging a hole in the carpet. Goldard tried not to flinch as he envisioned the million times he'd trip on that before it was fixed. “So...what do you think about him, uh, me?” He batted his eyelashes under the mask, Gold actually had a hard time seeing it.</p><p>	Act. Casual. “Well, it was interesting how the actor was able to play two parts so wildly differently without it being hokey. The whole show was hokey, but in the best way. The character himself…” Come on all his online rambling had prepared him for this. “I think he should have got more screen time. Or at least they should have explored the whole negaverse concept better. Like, what's their society like, are social conventions reversed too? Or is it just everyone's personality? What about people that are neutral, do they stay neutral because the opposite of zero is still zero? Does Negaduck have a civilian identity? I mean. Darkwing isn't Darkwing all the time so Negaduck shouldn't be either.” Nega nodded his head as he furrowed his brow, seemingly still listening as Gold continued to ramble. “It did get kinda convoluted in the end though with all the retcons and plot holes. I think if they'd been given another s-” He got too casual and tried to lean on his nearby desk but missed horribly and just ended up leaning onto nothing. He really hoped he’d miss the chainsaw.</p><p>“Whoa!” He was suddenly stopped from falling by a Negaduck half leaning over the desk at an awkward angle with his hat askew. They blinked at each other in surprise, Negaduck embarrassed at having done a ‘good’ thing without thinking, and Goldard at almost eating floor in front of a supervillain. At least he'd let go of the chainsaw.</p><p>Negaduck swallowed and tried to save face. “You have absolutely horrible situational awareness.”</p><p>	Goldard was about to say something equally biting and witty like. “Uh…” or “Yeah.” or “Thanks.” but was interrupted by a booming voice through the door.</p><p>“Unhand him, Negaduck!”</p><p>	Negaduck did without thinking and Goldard immediately fell on the floor with a thud and a groan. Both hero and villain winced. “Could have worded that better…” The hero admitted.</p><p>	The villain took this as an opportunity to grab his chainsaw and point between them. “Okay, that one was your fault.” He started the chainsaw. “Why do you have the worst timing? I was having a pleasant conversation!” He yelled, swinging the chainsaw at the hero who dodged easily.</p><p>	“I doubt that, Negaduck. Nothing about you is pleasant.”</p><p>	“Thank! You!” The villain said, swinging the chainsaw after him violently. Cog plastered himself to the wall. Goldard hid under his desk. Don't fail me now mahogany.</p><p>	“That wasn't a compliment!” Darkwing jumped over the villain and pushed his hat down on his head.</p><p>	“Well, that was your mistake wasn't it!” He roared as he tried to get the hat out of his eyes. He did and whipped around, narrowing in on the hero before swinging down on the desk he was standing on. It cut the thing near in half as Darkwing jumped away.</p><p>He growled. “Stand still you annoying aquatic-” He put a foot on the desk to brace himself on it, but it snapped under his weight and broke in half outward. He blinked as he stopped himself from falling and suddenly saw a sawdust covered accountant huddling under the used-to-be-desk. He blinked in surprise. This guy had the worst luck.</p><p>The man also seemed like he didn't know what to do, so he just waved. Nega waved back out of ingrained politeness.</p><p>Then he got punched in the face and spun around like a very broken ballerina.</p><p>He shook himself off, a few feathers flying loose in the process. “Ugh. I guess I’ll make a withdrawal another day.” He pulled out his gas gun and blew black smoke everywhere. Blinding everyone enough for him to escape, with his chainsaw somehow.</p><p>	Goldard hesitated and looked around before getting up shakily and dusting himself off. Ugh, the saw dust would be hell to get out of his feathers. And he needed a new desk. And he had just talked to a supervillain. And Darkwing is in the same room. These things caused his heart rate to climb higher and higher as he coughed on the smoke not helped by his hyperventilating.</p><p>	“Are you alright, citizen?” He felt a glove on his shoulder and looked up to see the real version of all of his dreams in front of him. And...shorter than he imagined.</p><p>“Yeah, great I’m thanks fine.” He nervously laughed out with a thumbs up.</p><p>The man nodded sternly. “Good.” A firm pat that almost knocked him over landed on his shoulder. A long awkward pause passed. “You should probably go outside and get checked out by the paramedics.”</p><p>Gold nodded and noticed his mouth was really dry. Was it always this dry? He felt like laughing more might fix this problem? Was his heart beat always this loud? “Yeah thanks love you bye.” And then he stumbled out of the room and blacked out from embarrassment and stress immediately upon fresh air hitting his face.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>	He was never leaving his bed again. He was going to do nothing but order take out for the rest of his life and then he would die watching Forensic Files rerun and never go outside or look at anything Darkwing Duck related.</p><p>He screamed into his pillow as another wave of embarrassment hit him. Why could he catch a break? Why did the world hate him? He let out a long sigh. He knew that the hero probubly heard stupid things everyday and probubly wouldn’t remember him next week, but it didn’t stop the burning. Also he had a headache from where he smacked his face on the concrete outside. Least he got the next day off of work while they refurbish the place. Just an entire day to forget this ever happened. Maybe this would be a good thing. Now that he couldn’t think about Darkwing Duck without wanting to throw up from embarrassment and a concussion maybe it would finally stop his stupid crush.</p><p>	His head was pounding. Felt like someone tapping on it repeatedly. No wait, that was his window. Someone was tapping on his window.</p><p>He squawked and jumped up. “Ah!”</p><p>	A yellow duck just smiled sharply and waved back happily in response.</p><p>“How long have you been there? Did you watch me change?” He did a few movements with his limbs that couldn't really be categorized in anyway but frantic.</p><p>	The villain opened the window to speak better and scrunched up his beak, putting a hand on his chin. “Egad no, what do you take me for? I just wanted to come by and see my biggest fan. Heard your pretty face had an arrangement with the pavement.”</p><p>	Goldard put his hands over his face and screamed muffled. So much for forgetting so soon. God, he almost hoped Darkwing wouldn't show up again.</p><p>	Wait, pretty?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Comments fuel me!<br/>Feel free to message me!<br/>I also make drawings and animations!<br/>https://www.youtube.com/c/HawkScape<br/>http://hawkscape.deviantart.com/</p><p>Art of Goldard and Cogwheel: https://www.deviantart.com/hawkscape/art/Goldard-Greendar-Reference-873880610</p></blockquote></div></div>
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